are you in a vicious circle?

Work, college... full time, part time... life, sleep....
Well this things are just some of the things I keep constantly on my mind. I would love to be able to decide on something and to dedicate myself to something... but unfortunately I am not exactly in that position, and no! I'm not the only one in this situation. I have to see the balance in between my two jobs, full time college and lately it became part time sleep.
Do I have a life? Well... that is sort of a funny question, I have to do all this, pay bills, share house, travel, go on holiday, selectively attend classes and lectures. I am not complaining of a quiet life. I even sold my car last week.
Yes, I think this is life. I have to be continuously engaged, I have to be present, aware of the future and at peace with the past. I sort of enjoy it. I really need a life where I am busy, engaged in all sorts of activities. I might not have time to go out and be on a binge for a week, but I still have some craic and maybe some times too much ceol. I need them to keep me going. Actually, if I think twice, with some better time management I still have time for some more extracurricular activities. Maybe I should join some sort of society in college or even better, set up the Russian Soc.
Why all this? Frankly, not a clue, but I know that in life you don't lose money, you just pay for lessons. Depends what you learn out of them.

PS: I actually wanted to write another version of this, the sad version. eh.... You're better off with this one!

Just,... whatever... you're not worthed!

And when you keep talking just to fill the silence gap, without to actually  edify someone, but to even attack someone and just to prove that you are the good one and you are always right, would you actually feel any better? Can you even look at yourself then. How despicable you must be to actually accuse someone whk is defenseless, and has no way to ask for it. Does that make you big, strong, an example to follow? I personally can't accept that in my own belief system, or in any other belief that claims to be well established. I really believe that anyone can be full of bull, blame someone who cannot defend themselves and look good  for the time being, but definitely the day will come when you'll have to bow down. Or there is another option, give up the shit you ride on, grow a pair and stand the bitch fest that might come against you, join it and not only that you make a stand for yourself, but you gain respect, you earn it. You don't have to beg for it anymore. You don't need to be like one of my teachers, but you can be like one of my brother's techers. You can boldly introduce yourself without begging for some respect out of pity,  introducing yourself using the term "ms". Never mind the rest, stand up when everyone is sitting down, speak up when everyone else is having their own pity party, deal with it when everyone else is bitching about it. Be you, be yourself. Even if you're bad at being yourself, you're still the best! No one can do it better than yourself.